The Preppy Way of Life

Yes, please!

Being a prep is more than wearing Burberry, Brooks Brothers and J. Crew. 
It's having the grades to get into Mummies alma-mater, knowing how to mix Daddy's favorite drink and always being classy. 
Preppy ladies and preppy men have different purposes and different attitudes. 
Let's examine how to be a preppy lady.


Ladies, classic fashion is our friend. 
A few pieces to always have in your wardrobe:
1. Sperry's in every color. 
   - They are perfect for sailing, attending courses at Yale University and chasing the hot pool boy around the water. 
   - Never pair Sperry's with a dress. Only capri pants or khacki's. 
2. The classic Lacoste polo shirt.
   - Amazingly comfortable during tennis practice and quite resistant to those grass stains one might acquire while frolicking the grounds with the instructor... 
   - Don't wear the Lacoste polo under a blazer. Only button up shirts will do for this. 
3. Dolce & Gabbana khacki skirt.
   - Daddy (and Daddy's friends) will be impressed when you show up in this to play golf. That is, of course, if he's not on another one of his benders.
   - The khacki skirt is not acceptable to attend one of Brother's frat mixers. Vomit is not easily removed from the material, so take note. 


Now let's move on to lifestyle choices. 
Remember, the first rule of prep school is don't talk about prep school!
We don't speak about our lavish home in the Hamptons, how Grandaddy has a plaque dedicated to him in the foyer or the family money. Especially the family money.
No one needs to know that Great-Grandaddy invented the urinal cake or that Aunties divorce settlement left her very comfortable. 
A tip for while you're away at prep school is to monogram everything.
Not only is it chic and makes everything look more expensive, but no one wants the roommate from New Jersey (how did they get accepted, anyway?!) using our hand towels.
Gross.
College is also when we find true love.
Okay, maybe not true love, but someone to marry who can support our Louis Vuitton habit and hire Lupita to do the laundry.
Ladies, we attend University for the diploma. 
Not to brag about it to potential employers, but to hang in the study for decoration. 
We don't need to work if we marry the right man, and if he happens to not be the right man, we always have Mummie and Daddy's money to fall back on.


Now, we can examine the gentlemen's guide to preppy.
Preppy gentlemen already know not to show their underthings. Disgusting and definitely not preppy. Speaking of underthings, only Ralph Lauren and Versace will do. None of that Fruit of the Whatever. Cheap!


Their are a few key fashion choices all preppy gentlemen must own, as well:
1. Bass Weejuns in black, burgundy and brown. 
    - Wonderful for relaxing in the den, drinking 40-year-old scotch while ignoring the 23-year-old wife. 
    - Weejuns can be worn for any occasion, just make sure and pick the correct style.
2. A perfectly tailored Armani blazer in Navy Blue.
    - Looks stunningly professional during an afternoon at the office. Also, navy blue blends in with the crowd down at the racetrack, because we wouldn't want the misses to know about that bad habit!
    - No one should know that the label on the blazer is Armani, of course. We wouldn't want to be pretentious, would we? Ha.
3. Grandaddy's antique Corum watch, because the Rolex went to Daddy.
   - Wear it with pride, wear it with everything. 
   - Remember to hide it from the housekeeper. Also, hide it from the wife when she finds out about the little indiscretion with Suzie the secretary.


Men, lifestyle choices are simple. 
Take over the family business and move into a respectable neighborhood with the wife.
Have two children. Only two, because at a later date when the neighbors adopt from a foreign country, the wife will want to adopt as well. 
Make sure the schools are good so that Andrew and Buffy (and possibly Ling-Shan) will attend the correct schools. 
Always keep up with Kennedy's by driving the latest BMW, throwing a party for every occasion and having more money than they do. 
And men, the BMW should never be a station-wagon, under any circumstances. 
They're ugly. Enough said. 


Being a true preppy comes from the bloodline, the bank account and the boats we spent summers on as kiddies. 
Preppy's don't imitate because we are the imitated. 




One last thing: never wear white after labor day.