Castrate Cupid.

How romantic.

What makes romance so great and special?

That old saying "it's the thought that counts" is the excuse women tell themselves when their spouses don't live up to their expectations.

Romance just isn't all it's cracked up to be.

It's not realistic to expect to be greeted with roses and champagne on our anniversary. We might get the roses- a day late. 

Men are not going to run us a bubble bath and light candles after we come home from a long day at work. 

They are also not capable of sitting through an entire meal without passing gas, no matter how unattractive it may be.

Romance in 2010 is not happening, so get over it.

Wouldn't honesty be better? 

We should know if our butt looks big in that ridiculously expensive dress. That way we can take it back and buy a gym membership using the extra cash.

Women should not feel the need to tie their spouses tie or button their shirt. Assuming we're talking adult relationships here; they're old enough to do it themselves! Quit being mommy and start being bitchy. 

That's the only way to get ahead in this world. 

And although the world is full of passionate and giving men who want nothing more than to brush that piece of hair behind our ear, most of them are batting for the other team. 

Gay men are great friends, but not a woman's first choice for a great lover.

Lovers should be just that- lovers. It doesn't mean they have to send a text reading "Missing my pookie" every five minutes.

Receiving a hand written poem or coming home to a clean house is wonderful, but it usually means they messed up. Again.

Men continuously screw themselves and expect us to be alright with it.

Take note, men. Five minutes is never, ever acceptable unless we demand it to be so.

It takes longer for us to shave our legs than that. So put some effort into it and think about baseball, football or any distraction.

As long as it's not another woman, we're fine with that.

Romance is not what it seems to be on television or in movies. 

No one is going to build us a house made of candles or feed us dinner, because they shouldn't have to.

Women are still fighting hard to have the same rights as men. 

For every sign of weakness we show, the glass ceiling gets higher and higher.

Cupid is not going to come shatter it with an arrow anytime soon.

Romance is and always has had an ulterior motive. 

Men are never nice because they want to be.

It's because they want to get into our panties.